Well hey, you! What have you been up to? :)

I’ve been doing charity work like standing outside of the Dress Barn and telling bitches they look fly.

you haven't bothered me in a couple days i think you were scared off by all my swag

I’ve been busy prepping my big dick for a photo shoot for big dicks monthly. Maybe you’ve heard of it. I’m sure they’ve contacted you ironically in the past.

Awesomeness! Just for me? Thank you so much! Heck, I'll take three!

YOU JUST RUINED THE MATH

can i download a thneed

CAN I DOWNLOAD YOUR MOM

Roses are red, violets are blue. Still selling that Thneed? I'll take two.

I got a deal just for you!
Buy one get one free, just $7.96

You would make an amazing porn star
Anonymous

MY DICK IS TOO BIG TO FIT INTO A CAMERA SHOT

Why are thneeds pink and not red tell me why

Why was my shit runny this morning?
Is it from 8 cups of coffee or the 3 day old hot dog left on my desk?
Some questions will never be answered

can i have a free thneed

YOU CAN HAVE THIS NEW FREE INVISABLE THNEED I JUST INVENTED JUST NOW LIKE WOAH

so like what is this with you and redheads

JUST CAUSE YOU THREW YOURS OUT DOESN’T MEAN I GOT RID OF MINE

You came back on my birthday! What a fantastic coincidence 8")

Happy Birthday, baby!
What did you get me?